Leviathan: “We are Proud to Partner With Everything That Is”
What if biblical monsters issued press releases, like UnitedHealth Group?
Recently, UnitedHealth Group announced a partnership with a second health system,1 increasing its total number of employees by 2000 in two days.
This got me thinking, with the rapid pace of acquisitions UnitedHealth Group2 and Behemoth—sorry, CVS Heath—have been keeping up, I wonder what the press releases would’ve look like from the PR firms for chaos monsters created by God at the beginning of time?
Something like this, perhaps:
Newswire: For Immediate Release!
All of Existence, including WI and the Depths of the Ocean, off the coast of CA:
“All that is” and LEVIATHAN3 today announced a partnership to enhance patient annihilation and enhance the experience of their doom, while meeting the community’s evolving death needs. Through the partnership, All That Is life cycle management operations and information technology services will become part of LEVIATHAN, providing new opportunities for team member growth and career advancement—to a point. Together, All That Is and LEVIATHAN, via swal…