Vampires Sue LifeStance Health for Theft of Intellectual Property
Not literal vampires ... but the vampires who acquired them
The Frontier Psychiatrists tries to have some fun from time to time. The following filling was unearthed by our crack research team, however, so this article will address yet more legal action by Vampires against the predatory PE rollups. These Private Equity plays are giving sucking the blood out of the human flock a bad name! Since the private equity guys we learned about in my first installment in this epic series made their appearance, things have gone from bad to worse. Not only was the term sheet for the acquisition of Brooklyn Shadows Coven, P.C. leaked, but now the smug fellows who acquired that ancient bloodline have filed a very questionable lawsuit against Lifestance Health, whose share price has already been pummelled by the recent Hindenberg Research report announcing their short position on the publicly traded company.
Never one to miss blood in the water, in the context of recent investor class action litigation, and a 72% share price drop since publicly listing their pump-and-dump, sorry, company, on NASDAQ, now the “putting Vampires to Shame” Private Equity Guys at LastChoice BloodCare Partners have decided to feast on the not yet completely dead and bloated corpse of Lifestance in the way that makes sense to them—frivolous litigation.
SOUTHERN DISTRICT OF NEW YORK
CASE NO.: VAMP-2024-LFST
LASTCHOICE BLOODCARE PARTNERS, LLC
Plaintiff,
vs.
LIFESTANCE INC.
Defendant.
COMPLAINT FOR INFRINGEMENT OF INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, UNFLATTERING USE OF TRADE NAME, AND REPUTATIONAL DAMAGE
Plaintiff, LastChoice BloodCare Partners, LLC (hereinafter referred to as "LCBCP"), by way of this Complaint, alleges against the Defendant, LifeStance Inc. (hereinafter referred to as "LifeStance"), as follows:
NATURE OF THE ACTION
1. This action arises out of Defendant's unauthorized appropriation and commercial exploitation of proprietary methodologies, practices, and trade names developed over millennia by Vampires of Brooklyn Shadows Coven, P.C., the intellectual property of which was acquired by LCBCP in 2022. Such actions not only infringe upon the intellectual property rights of LCBCP’s (now) wholly owned Intellectual Property (hereafter, “IP”), but also misappropriate the trade name "LifeStance" for fundamentally undead activities, thereby misleading the public and causing irreparable harm to LCBCP reputation, which is the trademark-owner on DeathStance, a publicly registered trademark of LCBCP. The substitution of the term “Life” for “Death” is a flagrant attempt to violate the intellectual property rights of LCBCP while simultaneously seeking plausible deniability in the misappropriation by Lifestance.
PARTIES
2. LCBCP is a venerable assembly of vampiric entities, as a private equity firm, that, as of its rather predatory acquisition of the Vampires of Brooklyn Shadows Coven, P.C. (hereafter “BSC”) in 2022, as well as all of its associated intellectual property as it relates to the dark arts of psychological and emotional manipulation, as well as proprietary methods and technologies to such the life out of humans.
3. LifeStance, a mortal entity, purports to provide mental health services across the United States, employing thousands and engaging in practices alarmingly similar to those jealously guarded by Vampires.
JURISDICTION AND VENUE
4. The Court has jurisdiction over this matter pursuant to the eternal laws governing the use of undead intellectual property and trade practices.
5. Venue is proper in this Court as Defendant's actions have caused harm to Defendant across multiple realms, both physical and ethereal. However, BSC is in NYC and has an office in midtown, and given that, we assert that the Southern District is going to be less of a disaster than Eastern when it comes to getting this particular legal show on the road.
FACTUAL ALLEGATIONS
6. LifeStance, through its operations, has unlawfully adopted and deployed psychological manipulation techniques that are the intellectual property of LCBCP without obtaining a license or permission, thus infringing upon LCBCP rights and privileges.
7. The Defendant's use of the trade name "LifeStance" is a deliberate attempt to obfuscate its unauthorized engagement in undead activities, causing confusion and diluting the distinct identity of LCBCP lawful, albeit shadowy, operations.
8. LifeStance's aggressive expansion and predatory practices exceed even those traditionally endorsed by LCBCP, resulting in additional reputational damage as these activities are erroneously associated with the undead community. Some examples of blood-sucking and clearly proprietary vampire behavior on behalf of LifeStance follow (citation from Hinderberg Research), along with our specific annotations:
A former LifeStance manager explained that the employee mix between therapy and psychiatry is critical information for investors to understand margin and profitability potential, but LifeStance doesn’t regularly share those metrics. A former employee and industry experts referred to therapy reimbursement rates as “humiliatingly low” and compared it to wages earned by “mani-pedi or salon haircut” workers.
This behavior is classic “Vampiric” as well as “hidden in the shadows,” both of which are the proprietary methods and trade secrets acquired by LCBCP in its acquisition of BSC.
Interviews and lawsuit allegations corroborate the retention issues, with former employees detailing how (i) LifeStance overpromises on compensation (ii) LifeStance institutes a system whereby clinicians end up indebted to the company (iii) LifeStance has a crippling corporate culture with no value-added and (iv) there are almost zero barriers to entry in operating a private practice.
This behavior is vampiric, again, the proprietary IP of LCBCP, and it is with grim satisfaction LCBCP notes that usually vampires aren’t sucking the blood out of their own vassals, and instead such the blood out of the human flock as the dark lord intended, as opposed to preying in an unsustainable manner on their employees as LifeStance seems to have done.
According to two employee class action lawsuits and an employment lawsuit, LifeStance overpromises on compensation. Nurse practitioners and therapists claimed deceptive employment offers and clawbacks of previous payments left them earning less than minimum wage or receiving nothing at all during some pay periods.
Clawsbacks require claws. Claws, talons, fangs, and other techniques are self-evidently non-human and undead techniques, arts, horrors, and methods that are the property of LCBCP and are being used in violation of all laws without licensing arrangements by LifeStance.
LifeStance provides advances to clinicians who expect to eventually reach the company’s lofty compensation promises. This often results in burdensome debt when expectations fall short. One former LifeStance manager described the situation as “a crappy thing, to owe your employer money.”
This behavior infringes on methods and techniques that are the property of LCBCP, and frankly, a bit more humiliating that we usually suborn.
The owner of a former practice acquired by LifeStance told us that medication prescribers are more likely to go into debt than therapists, making them more likely to sacrifice quality of care by shortening appointments to dig their way out of debt.
Again, the “digging” of “ones’ own grave” is the intellectual property of those who spend their eternal twilight in crypts, graves, tombs, and caskets. This is wholesale theft on the part of LifeStane.
LifeStance deals in controlled substances and medications like Xanax and Adderall that have huge potential for abuse, with prescription volume growth rivaling opiate prescriptions at their peak, according to health professionals.
This drug dealing on the part of LifeStance has no place in civil society, and LCBCP wants to make it perfectly clear that these are no methods of Vampires. We have limits!
Overall, we think LifeStance is a classic example of what happens when private equity meets a ‘hot’ healthcare sector: Massive debt fueling a grinding, metric-focused corporate culture resulting in worse quality of care for patients, a worse environment for clinicians and long-term losses for the average investor.
It’s what happens when “wound care” people get into the bloodsucking business. They do it wrong. The IP behind this is clearly the property of Vampires and we repudiate the theft.
CLAIMS FOR RELIEF
First Claim for Relief: Infringement of Intellectual Property
9. LCBCP re-alleges and incorporates by reference the foregoing allegations.
10. LifeStance's adoption and use of LCBCP proprietary methodologies constitute a clear infringement of intellectual property rights, warranting compensatory and injunctive relief.
Second Claim for Relief: Unflattering Use of A Trade Name
11. LCBCP re-alleges and incorporates by reference the foregoing allegations.
12. LifeStance's appropriation of the "LifeStance" name for fundamentally undead activities without consent constitutes authorized use of the trade name. However, the choice of the trade name was clearly a mockery of the abiding sense of horror, dread, and blood-sucking vampiric behavior that is the sole domain of LCBCP, LLP. It’s almost defamatory, but given the high bar for anti-SLAPP law in the state of New York, it is asserted that an “unflattering mockery” standard be applied in this novel context, given the majority in Sullivan v. New York Times could not have foreseen behavior as reckless, feckless, or provocative when that decision was reached as plaintiffs assert has been undertaken by Defendant.
Third Claim for Relief: Reputational Damage
13. LCBCP re-alleges and incorporates by reference the foregoing allegations.
14. LifeStance's actions, which go beyond the ethical boundaries traditionally respected by LCBCP, have caused significant reputational damage, associating LCBCP with overly predatory practices that it does not endorse. Vampires have a strict code, and LifeStance goes well beyond all decorum.
Fourth Claim for Relief: Unfair Competition
15. LCBCP re-alleges and incorporates by reference the foregoing allegations.
16. LifeStance's unauthorized exploitation of LCBCP intellectual property and trade name has given LifeStance an unfair competitive advantage, detrimental to LCBCP interests, as they operate a competing series of blood-sucking practices.
PRAYER FOR RELIEF, ABSENT CROSSES OR HOLY WATER
WHEREFORE, LCBCP respectfully requests the following relief:
a. A declaration that LifeStance has infringed upon LCBCP intellectual property rights and unlawfully used a parody trade name;
b. An injunction preventing LifeStance from any further use of LCBCP proprietary methodologies and the "LifeStance" trade name—no references to “Life” should be allowed for a corporate entity such as this.
c. Compensatory damages for the infringement of intellectual property, unauthorized use of trade name, and reputational damage caused by LifeStance;
d. Punitive damages for LifeStance's willful and malicious actions against LCBCP;
e. Any other relief the Court deems just and equitable, including but not limited to a public apology and an educational campaign on the distinctions between lawful undead practices and LifeStance's unauthorized activities.
DATED: February 5th, 2024
Respectfully submitted,
LastChoice Blood Care Partners, LLP
By their duly authorized representative
Vlad the Injunctive, Esq.
Prior articles about the role of large pools of capital in healthcare are available here:
Pitch to the Private Equity Investor
Vampires: A Private Equity Cautionary Tale
Is Private Equity Acquisition of Hospitals a Sentinel Event?
Private Equity Sucks at Running the Business of Medicine
The Private Equity Investor Lost His Heart, Literally
How Private Equity Convinced Healthcare to Go At Risk on It’s Integrity
How PE Ruined Emergency Medicine
Great News! I’m Raising a PE Fund!
I Explained Healthcare to My Mom
Never Raise Money for Your Healthcare Startup
Thanks for reading!