18 Comments

A beautiful and heartfelt post ❤️

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Thank you my friend

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Your sister's experience with her biological mother reminds me of something I heard recently. When we are small children we can either assume that the world is fine and we are the problem or that the world is the problem and we are fine. When we are totally dependent on others it totally makes sense that the first assumption feels safer, but whoa does it make a mess of our heads...

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It does in deed

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"I remember the last time we spoke—she apologized for being a bad sister."

My mom died a few weeks ago. That was expected, and seems to be affecting me way less than my brother's suicide, over a decade ago now.

http://www.intergalacticmedicineshow.com/cgi-bin/mag.cgi?do=columns&vol=randall_hayes&article=015

I still wake up sometimes and realize that my brother is dead, and that I was not someone he felt he could come to for help. It doesn't matter now, realistically, but still.

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🙏

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You must be an incredibly fast reader.

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Thank you for sharing this. I've lately been working on a piece about losing my dad to alcoholism. Though I haven't hit post yet, this feels like a kind of karmic return. Writing about a loss can take a lot out of you, but sometimes it gives a little back.

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I like karmic return. That's poetic!

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Thank you for sharing this.

There's much in it I relate to. It makes me very sad but it is real and true.

I hope you are as OK as can be considering.

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It was a while ago now

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Oh, this history. I myself am related to an amazing young woman who, no matter what, is still convinced that her adoptive mother will dump her just like her birthmother did. And my late brother, after a wild and crazy life, got his liver transplant, after which he had two amazing years and two years that ended with pneumonia can be a gift to a suffering patient. Dr. Owen, I hope your sister's memory is a blessing to you, with nary a consideration of an afterlife. xoxoxo

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Thank you for opening up and writing this. I hope for the best for you and your family.

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Thanks you! Fee free to share

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Godspeed, Dr. Muir.

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And to so many others too. We can bear witness, and be ready for the moments when we can offer the compassion and love that we have in our hearts

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Owen, my friend, greatly appreciate your courage to share real stuff. Healthcare is about people and lives - way more than just codes, encounters, ICDs, VBC, etc. We need more models like you to shine the light so that we can heal. Love what you are doing!! "I remember the last time we spoke—she apologized for being a bad sister. I reminded her that infinite forgiveness is what we are owed as family members, so she didn't use up anything." Forgiveness is so powerful! Cannot wait to hear more of your thoughts. May your sister never be forgotten. Peace be with you my friend, Michael

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I'm so sorry

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