Vampires Have "Disappointing" Q4 Feastings Call

It's not as easy to suck the life out of us as it once was.

For the last several years, my readers have been delighted by the horrifying reality of vampires being acquired by private equity. Vampire covens have had a dehydrated human flock, avoidance of activity in public, where their blood can be most rapidly drained, and more time on TikTok live. The cost of capital has also increased pressures on the bottom line of their private equity acquirers, and the market has not been favorable to IPO. Prior Articles in the series will be peppered throughout if you need to catch up.

Join me for today's earnings call with Last Choice Blood Care Partners, the first publicly traded vampire coven roll-up, facing a difficult Q4 feasting call…

Operator

Good afternoon. My name is Domingo—yes, we are hearing it directly from me—and I will be your conference operator today. I want to welcome everyone to the LastChoice BloodCare fourth quarter and full vampiric year 2024 conference call. [Operator instructions] I will now turn the conference call over to Brett …