Swallowing Sharp Objects

A story (composited, and not about any one real human).

I had a patient (not really) named Jeremiah (not a real name), who was 14 years old (not a real age). He was in the hospital, but he hadn’t said anything to any of the doctors. He hadn’t said anything to me. He’d only talk to one person in the entire building, who was a member of the recreation staff, and would take the kids out for basketball. The particular person Jeremiah spoke to is pretty good with kids. But it’s limiting for me, as a doctor, to assess anyone based on what they’re telling someone who isn’t me, when you’re never around. However, in this situation, that’s what I had to work with.

Jeremiah swallowed sharp objects. Repeatedly. Jeremiah had single-handedly trained an entire generation of local gastroenterology fellows. Every other day, a sharp object, and God knows where these came from, would go down Jeremiah’s throat. This would require a trip to the operating room, he would go under sedation, and they would try to retrieve the sharp object before it would puncture h…