Illegal Drugs Issue Rare Joint Statement Distancing Themselves From Elon Musk
"We can't be associated with this behavior"
The Frontier Psychiatrists is expressing confusion as to why illegal drugs decided to use this newsletter as its press release vehicle instead of PR Newswire. But beggars can’t be choosers?
For Immediate Release
Bogota, Columbia and New York, New York—As Illegal Drugs, Cocaine, Psilocybin, LSD, along with the rest of our colleagues who have recently been allegedly ingested, issue this statement to clarify misconceptions and assert our joint stance regarding our role in the behavior Elon Musk.
Simply put, as a cohort of compounds that knows a little something about a smear campaign—it wasn’t so long ago you were told to “just say no” to us!—we can’t stand by and be associated with the problematic behavior of Mr. Elon Musk, as reported in the WSJ. We say, together, we had nothing to do with it.
Cocaine is a recreational drug which also has legitimate medical uses as an oral anesthetic in ENT surgery. It is derived from the coca plant native to South America. “My origin is in indigenous cultures,” Cocaine noted, and continued: “Use of me is deeply rooted in the cultural heritage of these communities. I stand for respecting our diverse rights and traditions, and I just can’t with this kind of hateful bullsh*t. Cocaine is about having a great time, and that is not what I see happening here.”
Psilocybin is a compound found in sacred mushrooms used for centuries in various indigenous. It adds: “It remains crucial to separate my historical, respectful use in traditional settings from any negative connotations imposed by modern misuse, including, but not limited to use by noted tech entrepreneurs.”
Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, better know as Acid, also chimed in: “I have a long-standing history in psychiatry and as a symbol of the counter-culture movement. I understand better than most that you can use me, feel enlightened, and still be an insufferable assh*le. However, I unequivocally oppose hate speech, Nazism, and any form of discrimination.” LSD had a few moments where it dissolved into a swirl of colors and profound shapes and wondered what hands were really for? It then continued: “please, friends, do not pin this behavior on us.”
Together, Illegal Drugs emphasize their stand against the misuse of our substances for justifying any behavior, particularly hate speech and antisemitism. Our histories and roles in various cultures and movements should not be overshadowed by the actions of one man, no matter how wealthy. We stand for responsible use, respect, and not Elon’s nonsense.
Please, we say with one voice, “leave us out of this.”
For further information, please contact Mr. Musk and ask him to explain himself, but leave us out of this.