I Lost My Glasses, But Not My Marbles!

A real life story about parenting.

My readers are used to seeing me with glasses on in pictures. Today, I went to a waterpark. Yes I know I live in the north east of the United States. Yes, I am also familiar with the fact that it is November. It turns out in New Jersey, there is a mall that now has an indoor waterpark. It is, and I think I can speak for my entire family here, awesome. My son wanted to go on some water rides. I was wearing my glasses. This was a terrible idea, in retrospect, but whatever.

My son and his friend, who was having his eight years old birthday, brought me up to the top of a very exciting waterslide, that my son went down. And his friend, whose birthday it was, decided not to. He was going to walk down the stairs. This was a parenting game-time decision. Do I follow my kid down the slide? Do I go down the stairs? I decided to go on the slide.

They then told me to take off the glasses. “ put them in your pocket.” I did. They were immediately flushed out of my pocket to who know…