How I Built A 3 Figure Monthly Income By Writing a Newsletter!
You won't believe how possible it is!
You can do it. I'm here to tell you that it's possible. You can live your dream. I am living mine. I earn an extra $560 a month. That's gross in all fairness. It's before the cut from Substack, and it's before the cut from Stripe, and it's before taxes, and it's before expenses. But I still probably earn a couple hundred bucks a month. And I do it, passively, without any extra work, except all the actual work of writing a daily Healthcare newsletter on my own.
Can you live the three figure dream? Maybe. If you follow my plan. Follow me, I'll show you how.
The first thing you need to do, and this is crucial, is have a call to action. Next, hide whatever goodies you're gonna give people behind a pay wall. Period. If you want to be sure you live the three figure dream— not getting distracted by pesky conversions into paying readers!— don't even bother to have a pay wall. I mean you can put it on somethings, I guess. You can put it on older things. But never ever risk pissing people off by actually having a pay wall be a thing that have to pay to get past for a new email. Because growth. Or something.
The next step to absurdly successful three figure passive —but really every day work—revenue? It takes a Relentless focus on putting out content that's interesting to you, but not to anybody else.
Make it quirky. Make it deeply weird. Measure what matters:
Add a little love and a little gloomy. Your audience will reward you with 10s of dollars a month in revenue. And a 19% week over week improvement in gloomy formality? That is newsletter gold. Not very much of it. But it’s a precious metal alloy— at least. Electroplate?
What Else Do I Need To Do?
Make sure it offends people in your market— if you're in a specific subsection of the economy. Offer really useful advice…and do it in a way that's too complicated for most people to follow!
Too Many Fancy Words, Owen Muir
Use so many rare words that you're actually in the top 1% of vocabulary users. Be such a lunatic about math that you feel like pointing out the fact that you're in the top 1% of vocabulary users is not helpful, because you don’t know how far out in the statistical tail you are. The top one percent can be a geometric distribution, or it could be a normal distribution, and you have no additional data in order to help you understand the underlying statistics because you'd be such a goddamn weirdo who can't write a regular newsletter that people can understand.
Don’t Let Good Advice Stop You, Ever
Use the words that people don't understand.
That way, even if they open your newsletter? They will have no idea what you're talking about (on average). Clarify things that don't need clarifying with pointless hedges. And then make parentheticals statements to limit the risk that people will understand you correctly.
This way, people will have no misapprehension about how smart you are. They also are highly unlikely to convert into paid subscribers in your highly unsuccessful anti-sales funnel.
Remember—the words you use ARE your TAM. Only 1% of people? That is a Service Obtainable Market!
Do everything you can… to generate the impression that you're successful to the world. Let people know exactly how much money…you are in debt in order to have the gravitas to be a hundredaire newsletter author. As a physician, I am thrilled to let you know that my medical debt payments alone already eat around $4000 a month. If I was not a doctor in the first place, you wouldn't be reading this newsletter!
Never give up on those dreams. You, too, could be writing a newsletter while taking an Uber to the doctor to help you with your metabolic illness! If 4 people subscribe now, it will cover this one ride!
Only the ride there. I’ll need 4 more monthly subscribers to pay for the cab ride back.
I’m modestly disappointing on LinkedIn too! Keep in mind to avoid connecting statements, or appropriate structure. These things let the audience know what to expect, and that's really gonna make them subscribe to a newsletter. And that's gonna blow you through the hundredaire dream in a way that you're gonna be uncomfortable with.
Oh, and Grammarly…I am ready for my sponsorship. Call me. No, I didn't hyper link that. That is how cool I am playing it.
If you are not financially in a place to subscribe but want to support my work, the following methods are meaningful:
You can review my podcast!
And review my books on Amazon!
I even have music your can follow along with and I will appreciate the support.
And of course…
best article of yours I have ever read. amused me immensely.
Cheers
forget featured substack trophy, I want a hint of gloom badge from grammarly.