Elon Musk Concerned About Declining Elon Musk Coverage

Elon Musk incredulous that any other stories are published by media.

Today….satire…also buy my book!

Austin, Texas — July 27, 2024.

With the recent slump in the valuation of Tesla, after disappointing quarterly earnings report, sources close to Elon Musk— which we all know are Elon Musk himself— report the dissatisfaction regarding the declining media coverage of Elon Musk. Tesla, and its collapsing fortunes, is only one of the companies that leads to the remarkable net worth of Elon Musk. It is also only a tiny fraction of the Elon Musk Story industrial complex. Between his myriad children with a wide array different women, which we are tacitly asked to accept as completely normal-ish, his terrible relationship with many of those children, his remarkable outbursts of bigotry, and many other failed or failing businesses, it seems there should be enough to feed a hungry Internet and even more serious news sources— completely. Mr. Musk’s press secretary, who looks suspiciously like Mr. Musk in a wig, release the following statement:

“Although the brilliant Mr. Musk understands, in a world full of increasing war and strife, there may be other stories that the media feels are important to cover, he wishes to maintain the focus on Mr. Musk. Did you see that thing, in the Wall Street Journal? Mr. Musk is doing drugs all day long as a federal contractor. Surely, that is still newsworthy? Mr. Musk tweets regularly, and many of those statements are deeply abhorrent.”