Andrew Witty's Exit and The Unimaginable Scale of the Collapse of UnitedHealth Group

Be careful what you wish for?

I've spent a better part of three years advocating financially for the accountability of UnitedHealth Group. I've had to put up with years of that not happening, and earth-shaking profits, and a chain healthcare cyber attack, and a cold-blooded murder in the streets of New York, and still, care was being denied at an industrial scale with no accountability.

Until that is, today. Yes, I know United has had a difficult month. The Change Disaster didn't do anyone any favors…

Prior coverage of the Change Healthcare cyber attack is available here. and here. and here. and here. and here. and here. and also here. Oh, and with an NFT, here. An overview of all the things that changed is available in an article from the other day.

But today was just some next-level disaster when it comes to financial markets. I have never been more correct in my life about anything than when I advocated for shorting the stock of UnitedHealth Group. If only I had any disposable income or the courage of my convictions.

Sadly, I didn't follow my own advice:

Short Sell United Healthcare (or your big health player of choice).

Please, God, do not be willing to bet your future on selling uncovered United call options, which is a financial disaster:

It is inherently risky as there is limited upside profit potential and, in theory, unlimited downside loss potential. In fact, the maximum gain is the premium that the option writer receives upfront, which is usually credited to their account. So, the goal for the writerof the contract is to have the option expire worthless.

Today, UnitedHealth Group announced the abrupt resignation of Sir Andrew Witty, the CEO. Here is the letter he sent to the team internally at six in the morning. My readers may wonder why you, Owen, have communications from inside United in your dumb newsletter? First, this (former) employee could not confirm with the email screenshot because she was laid off after receiving it. It was sent to me because I do posts on TikTok, to my tiny audience of 6M views over the last year, reporting on the business practices of the world's largest healthcare company. Now, here I am with all this (unverified, seemingly) primary source information from inside the company, where, to be clear, they hate this guy:

It is with extraordinary appreciation for all of your efforts and support for this enterprise that I write to let you know. I have decided to step down as Chief Executive officer of our company. I will remain as a senior adviser to our new CEO Steve Hemsley. I want you to know the privilege that I have felt leading this organization and its mission. I have had the chance to meet and work with so many of you across the company every single day. I saw your compassion, energy and thoughtfullness at work and service of our members, patients and consumers. And of each other what you do and how you do it constantly inspired me and for that I offer my warmest thanks. Stepping down will not be easy and has been one of the toughest personal decisions I have made. Steven and I first started working together in 2017. When he asked me to join the company's board. He is a person of real integrity, a great listener who approaches issues looking only for the best possible path ahead and I'm very confident in his leadership for the future of this great enterprise. The work you do is vital as I have said, the country needs a company like UnitedHealth Group. I know you'll continue to do great things. And I look forward to helping you in any way I can. I will finish where I started by thanking you from my heart for all you have done these past few years. Take care, andrew.

You take care, too, “Andrew.” Did he sign it with a lowercase first name? Oh my Gawd. It's almost as if he had vaporized $300 billion in market cap under his watch. Oh, wait. That's exactly what happened. Let's rewind: at its peak, in 2024, UnitedHealth Group had a market cap of over half a trillion:

That number today is less than half. I dropped from a market cap of 630,730,000,000 to 282,320,000,000 today. Today is a catastrophic share price collapse, following the abrupt resignation of “Andrew” this morning, who decided maybe he doesn't wanna get $@$$&:’ by both lunatics with guns in America and the market at the same time? Oh, also, they had to walk back there, earning systems in the face of multiple shareholder lawsuits. The Department of Justice, in several cases, is still hot on their tail, and then Trump goes and blows up Pharmacy Benefit Managers, maybe, and it was all too much. So this guy steps one foot to the left, and the following happens:

And that was premarket open. It did not rally there after:

Don’t worry, he still has insider trading investigations by the DOJ to be deposed in the discovery phase, as I satirized here.

To give you a sense of how unprecedented this is, United’s collapse, at the end of today, is worse, in whole dollar terms, and almost as bad in percentage terms, than the literal Great Depression. The great depression took a roaring $90 billion stock market (in 1929), and by September 1931, the Dow fell 30% in that month, to around $30 billion. UnitedHealth Group has just lost 500% of that amount of dollar value since late 2024, under Witty’s leadership.

But it seems that all of us in the media (Jim Cramer Excluded) can pat ourselves on the back for yelling loud enough about the emperor’s lack of clothes for the markets to notice. Hats off, ProPublica, American Prospect, and my readers. We did it.

What a grim victory. We wanted corporate responsibility, and we may or may not get it, yet. But the market has spoken, for the time being.