An Open Letter to Parents, Regarding Childhood Vacations

I can't believe you put up with this

I had no idea. I don't know how I could've had had an idea, but, heavens! The thought that a family vacation is somehow relaxing for families with young children? This is a vast conspiracy. Children, myself included, were a huge pain in the ass to travel with. My children are relatively well-behaved. I am blessed, when it comes to the attitudes and behaviors of my children.

But …what a nightmare. It's hot. Or, it's too cold. But it's definitely also too hot. And now we have a sunburn. Let's go somewhere freezing. Why are we going somewhere hot? What are we gonna have dinner? Why isn't it the other thing? Can we go home now? This is the worst. I stepped on a rock. It hurts. One might be tempted to act:

I signed you up for kids club.

“Nooooooooooo.”

OK, you don't have to go to kids club. Why does any parent do this? What mass delusion led us to believe that taking vacations with our monstrous, or even extremely pleasant, children was an activity that would help us recharge