An All-Fangs Meeting for Vampires
Cyber Security issues are more important for blood sucking vampires than they imagined
The Frontier Psychiatrists is a daily health themed newsletter. Today, a palette cleansing sorbet of an article.
I've got bad news. Everybody, gather around. There has been… I don't even know how I'm going to say this.
Q.
I mean, I guess you're right, with a seductive lilt in my voice, and a slight Transylvania accent is probably the best way to do it.
If I were living, I'd take a deep breath. You never know how much you'll miss those deep breaths as the undead until they don't matter anymore. It feels like nothing matters for eternity.
“…”
OK, so here's the status update. And I warn you, this is about as pleasant as garlic and sticking your hand in a bucket of holy water.
You've heard of change healthcare?
Q.
OK, you haven't heard of Change Healthcare? You've heard of private equity, though?
Q.
Yes, As the drinking of the blood of the unsuspecting human flock is the vampires, sucking money out of otherwise good and decent businesses is to private equity.
Q.
It’s been a very profitable business model for the investors. Keep in mind—it’s not their money. They are paid 2% per year to invest that money for large pension funds. Their job is to find “opportunities” they can take total control over. Yes, much like our seductive gaze is very compelling. Sometimes the general partners have to use some of their own, so they have “blood in the game.”
“…”
It’s like we had a seductive gaze that took 51% control of someone. And every subsequent decision was a majority vote.
Q.
Well once you have 51%, consent becomes… how do I put this? It becomes a “nice to have.”
“…”
Well, then they fire you, if you disagree.
Q.
Someone always agrees. You can be replaced. Next question.