It's time for a moment of levity. It's been a tough week. I'm thrilled to announce that not only am I a top-ish doctor, but I'm definitely a top doctor in a field that includes no medical care from me, ever. I run a clinic in North Brooklyn.
It's called Fermata. We provide accelerated transcranial magnetic stimulation for depression and OCD, intranasal esketamine, non-invasive vagal nerve stimulation for headaches (and investigational for PTSD), trigeminal nerve stimulation for ADHD, EEG-fMRI Neurofeedback with the PRISM system for PTSD, SAINT neuromodulation for major depressive disorder, and psychiatric care generally. I’ve senior-authored papers on ketamine.1
One of the things we don't do and have never done? Provide intervenous ketamine. I'm thrilled to announce that this didn't stop me from being featured as a Top 10 Ketamine provider this year!
Oh my. About that.
This is not the first time dubious top doctor awards have been offered. The late and remarkably great Marshall Allen did a phenomenal piece about this for ProPublica in 2019:
My eyes narrowed when the woman on the voice message told me to call about my “Top Doctor” award.
They needed to “make sure everything’s accurate” before they sent me my plaque, she said.
It was a titillating irony. I don’t have a medical degree, and I’m not a physician. But I am an investigative journalist who specializes in health care. So I leaned forward in my seat with some anticipation when I returned the call last year. I spoke to a cheerful saleswoman named Anne at a company on New York’s Long Island that hands out the Top Doctor Awards. For some reason, she believed I was a physician and, even better, worthy of one of their awards. Puzzled and amused, I took notes.
I asked how I had been selected. My peers had nominated me, she said buoyantly, and my patients had reviewed me. I must be a “leading physician,” she said.
The top doctor plaque, size small, was all of $289.
I imagine my listing as a top 10 ketamine provider is going to be more expensive if just as undeserved.
And just when I thought I was done making fun of this, they emailed me again, because apparently it's really important that I know how Top I am?
Hey, I just met you—and this is scammy—but here is “Velma”s number—call her and take my spot, maybe?
Evans, Viviana D. BA1; Arenas, Alejandro MD2; Shinozuka, Kenneth BA3,4,*; Tabaac, Burton J. MD, FAHA5,6; Beutler, Bryce D. MD7; Cherian, Kirsten PhD8; Fasano, Chelsey BA9; Muir, Owen S. MD, DFAACAP10,11. Psychedelic Therapy: A Primer for Primary Care Clinicians—Ketamine. American Journal of Therapeutics 31(2):p e155-e177, March/April 2024. | DOI: 10.1097/MJT.0000000000001721
I too received this “prestigious” honor despite also not being a ketamine provider.